I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
