I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I know her cup size but not her name....
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
