I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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