Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.