ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.