Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..