Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
