It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
