He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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