What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
