great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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