Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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