I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
