my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
