Already got asked if we're dating
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
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If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
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Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Randomize