I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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