I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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