The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
