just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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