i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
