Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
