Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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