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you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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