I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
