Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize