dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
