ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
