i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My ATM looks so different sober.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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