I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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