4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
