is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
