Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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