I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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