I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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