Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize