shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize