I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
