im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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