This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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