and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
