Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Can I color on your dick again?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
