Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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