yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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