I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
