So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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