She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
