What a fucking waste of an outfit
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This house was built for laser tag.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
