I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
