Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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