Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
