Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
