the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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