god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
