there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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