im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
