Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
