I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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