Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
