That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
