It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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