Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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