my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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